Isaac, great name by the way, this was a thoughtful and helpful post. I think much of my struggle with the church is we often have to stay silent about so many things in order to get along, because conformity of thought is what is desired for the sake of peace. But if peace is dependent on silence— people never being authentic or sharing their real struggles and questions, how can it be a true peace? I understand that not every space is a place for questioning, but there needs to be some place for it. I agree that Christ offers something different and it’s rooted in radical humility and confidence because no matter what someone might say, we don’t have to be threatened or afraid that Christ will be diminished. This is one I’ll be re-reading. Thank you.
Excellent article, we must examine ourselves more than we examine others. Loved that chose to ask, "what is right?", rather than "what is wrong". This alone would resolve many conflicts from being blown out of proportion, if asked early enough.
"Is more information needed?" is another great question to ask ourselves. And may I suggest that we follow that up with, "am I willing to accept that more information?" Too often we just filter this "more information", accepting that which supports our position, and routinely rejecting that which does not.
"Grace makes space" — that's the whole essay in three words, and I think it's exactly right.
It put me in mind of the desert fathers, who treated the willingness to be corrected as a mark of maturity rather than a threat to it — the elder who could say "I have sinned" without it costing him his standing in the community. That's differentiation, isn't it, in pre-Bowen language: secure enough in who you are that being wrong doesn't unmake you.
The Cain and Joseph's-brothers examples land hard too — sameness pursued as a substitute for peace. De-creation is exactly the right word for it.
Thanks Isaac. Good stuff to wrestle with here. I like how you’ve framed grace. It’s easy for us to think of grace as a get out of jail free card. But that’s not what it’s supposed to be at all. I like how you describe grace as something that creates space for mutual learning and growth. This is what God does for us…. It’s not about “forgive and forget,” but about creating a safe space for relationship with the Holy Spirit (and others) where we can learn to see where we’ve been off-track, harming ourselves and others.
I especially like how you’ve framed disagreement as a (potential) positive indicator that learning and growth are happening. Differentiation and diversity are good things and part of God’s good creation and plan.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced spaces (in family and church and society at large) where loyalty assumed to equate to agreement and conformity and disagreement is interpreted as rejection and betrayal. Many carry deep wounds from being subjected to relational banishment simply because we saw things differently from others in our community. We have much work to do to grow in the grace and truth you’re encouraging us toward.
Isaac, great name by the way, this was a thoughtful and helpful post. I think much of my struggle with the church is we often have to stay silent about so many things in order to get along, because conformity of thought is what is desired for the sake of peace. But if peace is dependent on silence— people never being authentic or sharing their real struggles and questions, how can it be a true peace? I understand that not every space is a place for questioning, but there needs to be some place for it. I agree that Christ offers something different and it’s rooted in radical humility and confidence because no matter what someone might say, we don’t have to be threatened or afraid that Christ will be diminished. This is one I’ll be re-reading. Thank you.
Excellent article, we must examine ourselves more than we examine others. Loved that chose to ask, "what is right?", rather than "what is wrong". This alone would resolve many conflicts from being blown out of proportion, if asked early enough.
"Is more information needed?" is another great question to ask ourselves. And may I suggest that we follow that up with, "am I willing to accept that more information?" Too often we just filter this "more information", accepting that which supports our position, and routinely rejecting that which does not.
"Grace makes space" — that's the whole essay in three words, and I think it's exactly right.
It put me in mind of the desert fathers, who treated the willingness to be corrected as a mark of maturity rather than a threat to it — the elder who could say "I have sinned" without it costing him his standing in the community. That's differentiation, isn't it, in pre-Bowen language: secure enough in who you are that being wrong doesn't unmake you.
The Cain and Joseph's-brothers examples land hard too — sameness pursued as a substitute for peace. De-creation is exactly the right word for it.
Thanks Isaac. Good stuff to wrestle with here. I like how you’ve framed grace. It’s easy for us to think of grace as a get out of jail free card. But that’s not what it’s supposed to be at all. I like how you describe grace as something that creates space for mutual learning and growth. This is what God does for us…. It’s not about “forgive and forget,” but about creating a safe space for relationship with the Holy Spirit (and others) where we can learn to see where we’ve been off-track, harming ourselves and others.
I especially like how you’ve framed disagreement as a (potential) positive indicator that learning and growth are happening. Differentiation and diversity are good things and part of God’s good creation and plan.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced spaces (in family and church and society at large) where loyalty assumed to equate to agreement and conformity and disagreement is interpreted as rejection and betrayal. Many carry deep wounds from being subjected to relational banishment simply because we saw things differently from others in our community. We have much work to do to grow in the grace and truth you’re encouraging us toward.
Thanks Isaac.